Top Ten Rejected Slogans for Museum Square Fence

The Journal Star reports the latest plan to generate excitement about the proposed downtown museum that’s been languishing for about four years now:

Panels of the construction fence around the property, recently rebuilt and painted solid black, are being painted anew with slogans that are intended to educate the public about what’s going to be inside the museum and Cat visitor’s center…. Officials hope the signs will attract riverfront and Downtown visitors to the site and increase awareness of the project.

Slogans will include, “Play it again, Peoria” to promote the history portion of the museum, “They Had a Dream” to promote the African American Hall of Fame, and “Hang With the Stars” to promote Lakeview’s planetarium.

Here now are the top ten rejected slogans for the museum square fence:

10. “Shhhh — We’re still in the ‘quiet phase’ of fundraising”
9. “The only ‘Lake View’ here is one block east”
8. “Welcome to the ExploraFence!”
7. “Either you cough up the $40 million or this becomes a permanent surface lot. What’ll it be, people?”
6. “Used Cars For Sale”
5. “Due to escalating construction costs, patrons for the planetarium show now have to sit outside at night and look at actual stars”
4. “Look at the bright side — this block already looks better than Riverfront Village”
3. Number 3 eliminated last year when museum was reduced from 110,000 to 81,000 square feet.
2. “So far, we only have enough money to put up this fence”
1. “Coming soon: Higher Taxes!”

Worried about the bomb? Paint your house!

While the worry over nuclear war isn’t as great nowadays as it was in the ’50s, there are still real fears out there. Iran is testing medium- and long-range missiles. There’s always the threat of a terrorist getting his hands on a “dirty bomb.”

So, in order to help you prepare for such a disaster, I present to you, “The House in the Middle.” As this civil defense film from 1954 shows, keeping your house well-painted on the outside — and tidy and clutter-free on the inside — is the key to surviving a nuclear blast:

I’m not convinced, even if the house doesn’t burst into flames, that you would survive the nuclear blasts depicted. And paint protecting the house from a nuclear bomb makes about as much sense as ducking and putting a book over your head like they taught us to do in school.

And if there’s still anyone wondering why the next generation following the 50’s grew up cynical and jaded, consider the fact that the credits in this film say it was produced by “The National Clean Up – Paint Up – Fix Up Bureau,” but the film was actually produced by the National Paint, Varnish and Lacquer Association. I bet business really picked up for paint manufacturers in 1954.

Time for City to start thinking about budgets

There’s a special City Council meeting this coming Tuesday. There’s only one item on the agenda, and no final action will be taken. It appears to be the beginning of birth pangs for next year’s City budget process:

DISCUSSION Regarding the City of Peoria Financial Overview of 2008 Year-to-Date Projections and 2009 Preliminary Revenue Projections; Including 5-Year Projections, and Operating Budget Guidelines. No Final Action will be Taken.

We’re entering the season where priorities will be set, new projects will get funded, old projects will get defunded, compromises will be made, the garbage tax will be defended (again), and more revenue will be raised in some creative way they will define as anything other than a “tax increase.” Budget hearings from departments won’t roll around until October, if last year’s schedule is any indication. But that’s just around the corner, believe it or not — only six regular council meetings away.