After sitting through a half hour of the Heart of Peoria Commission report to the City Council, I’ve concluded that they are, shall we say, not the most efficient public body. I’m sure they’re getting work done, but it was hard to discern what that work was from their presentation. It mostly consisted of “we’ve had meetings,” and, “we’re planning more meetings.”

But my favorite part of the report was under the heading of “Adoption of Form-Based Code.” I swear to you, one of the four “accomplishments” this subcommittee of the Heart of Peoria Commission turned in read, “appreciating the complexity of the task.”

I have to admit, I broke out laughing right there in the council chambers. I mean, come on — can you imagine yourself putting that “accomplishment” on your next performance evaluation? “But boss, I’ve been hard at work appreciating the complexity of the task!!!” Ha ha ha! Oh, and I went to a lot of meetings….

I wonder if they can quantify how much time they spent “appreciating the complexity of the task.” Was that a whole meeting? I mean, it was the third of the four major accomplishments that made it into the presentation, so they must have spent some time on it.

Can’t you just see them at Panache, sitting thoughtfully on overstuffed couches and wooden stools while the aroma of cappuccino wafts through the air?

“On today’s agenda,” the chairman begins, “I think we need to take some time out to appreciate the complexity of the task.”

Everyone nods in agreement.

“Betty, what do you appreciate most about the complexity of the task?”

“Oooh,” Betty says gravely, “I think the most complex part was changing the name from ‘smart code’ to ‘form-based code.’ I didn’t appreciate the complexity at the time, but now that you mention it….”

And so it goes. I wonder if they can appreciate how ridiculous that point sounded.