I was morbidly amused while listening to NPR this morning. They have been following the story of Michael Morales, a man in California who was convicted of raping and murdering a 17-year-old girl, Terri Winchell, in 1981. He is on death row and was supposed to be executed a couple of nights ago.

But there have been complications. California first couldn’t find any anesthesiologists who would make Morales unconscious so he could receive his lethal injection. Then, when given the okay by the court to kill him using sodium pentothol only, they couldn’t find a licensed medical professional willing to do it. They complained it violated the Hippocratic Oath, “first, do no harm.”

This amuses me because there’s another story in the news right now that has to do with so-called “partial-birth abortion.” Pro-choice advocates prefer to call the procedure by its medical name, “D&X,” or “dialation and extraction.” It was a procedure thought up by two doctors — one from Ohio, and the other from (you guessed it) California.

So, it seems that a perfect solution to the Michael Morales problem would be to get an abortionist — perhaps the co-inventer of D&X himself — to perform the execution. After all, if they can end human life at its most innocent and vulnerable state, what should stop them from ending the life of a murderer/rapist who has been tried, convicted, and sentenced to death by a jury of his peers?

But if that doesn’t work, I have a backup plan. They can always starve him to death.

You may remember that when Terri Schiavo was still alive and they wanted to remove her feeding tube, there were several experts who said that, not only is starvation not painful, there’s instead a feeling of euphoria one experiences as the bodily systems shut down. I remember reading with disbelief this description in the Journal Star, wondering if all those starving people in Africa were feeling this “euphoria,” too.

But hey, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from the evolution/intelligent-design debate, it’s that you don’t ever question state-endorsed science. Such science is the only true truth in the western world. So if science says you feel euphoric while starving, then by golly you feel euphoric while starving, and don’t give me any lip. And in a country where we’re more concerned about rapists and murderers having as painless an execution as possible (too bad Morales didn’t extend the same courtesy to his victim), what could be more painless than the euphoria one feels while one’s body wastes away?

One of the anti-death-penalty advocates interviewed by NPR called capital punishment “immoral.” Yet isn’t there something morally askew about a country that so easily assuages its conscience when it comes to killing the unborn and the infirm, yet has a moral crisis about executing murderers?