Neither one of us has a cell phone.

That, of course, makes me eccentric. Which is funny, because evidently what’s not eccentric is walking around with a little Bluetooth gizmo sticking out of your ear. Also not eccentric: Walking around looking like you’re talking to yourself while wearing a little Bluetooth gizmo sticking out of your ear. Oh yeah, I’m the weird one.

Some people are incredulous that I can live, breathe, and — perhaps most amazing — travel without a cell phone. It does make you wonder how we lived for so long without these devices. Just think, up until 1979 there were no cell phones. Do you realize what that means? It means Columbus discovered the new world… without a cell phone! The Pilgrims came without cell phones. International trade was carried on for centuries without cell phones. And yes, man went to the moon and back several times without cell phones.

You’re all stunned, I know. And you’re saying, “yeah, but this is 2008; people went without indoor plumbing and microwaves and dishwashers for centuries, too, but you’ve gotta get with the times, Ceej.” Well, not all technology is created equal. Some are more useful and necessary than others. There have been major advances in coffee-making technology, too, but since I don’t drink coffee, I don’t own the latest and greatest coffee maker. It’s unnecessary in my life; I don’t need it.

And that’s the same reason I don’t have a cell phone: I don’t need it. I have a phone in my house, and I have a phone in my office at work. If you call while I’m not in either of those places, you can leave me a message and I’ll call you back. Simple, just like Thoreau advised. I’m not waiting for a kidney transplant. I’m not carrying the nuclear football. So whatever it is, it can wait.