The Associated Press (via the Pantagraph) reports that adult binge drinkers prefer beer, while teen binge drinkers prefer liquor.

The stereotype-shattering findings are reported in two studies by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

And just what, may I ask, are we supposed to do with this information? What difference does it make what kind of alcohol each binge-drinking demographic unit prefers — from a medical standpoint, that is? Does it make a difference in how they’re treated for alcoholism? Does it shed any new light on how to help people overcome alcohol addiction? Why was money spent on this study?

Did they perchance discover other fascinating tidbits of knowledge, such as whether more adults than teens prefer limes in their Coronas? Or whether a majority of British adults with the last name of Bond prefer their martinis shaken rather than stirred? Inquiring minds want to know!