I went to CEFCU Center Stage tonight to see Frank Abagnale speak. You may remember he was portrayed by Leonardo DiCaprio in the movie “Catch Me If You Can.” The event was billed as a seminar on identity theft, but other speakers talked about that subject. When Abagnale came to the lectern, he said he had spoken about identity theft earlier in the day to law enforcement officers, bank officials, and others, and tonight he was going to give a more personal talk.
He shared a lot about his life between the ages of 16 and 21 — his exploits, his crimes, his capture, and his imprisonments in France, Sweden, and the U.S. Many of the stories he shared were entertaining, and his way of impersonating airline pilots and doctors was ingenious. He even passed the bar in Louisiana and argued cases for the states attorney’s office for a year.
In spite of all his brilliance, he eschewed any praise for his street smarts. He told the crowd that people have written to him and said he was a genius. He said if he had really been a genius, he wouldn’t have had to steal money to survive. He said some people have written to him and said he really had a gift. He agrees, but says the greatest gift he had was being raised by a mother and a father for the first 16 years of his life.
He had already shared how his parents had divorced when he was 16, and how he couldn’t choose which one to live with, so he ran out of the courtroom so he wouldn’t have to choose and they parents skipped all the support payments required by the state since then. He never blamed his parents’ divorce for his life of crime, but he made it clear that it was a contributing factor, and now he reminded everyone of how devastating divorce is on children, “even though it’s not popular to say it these days.” Those who are planning to get divorced may want to consider reaching out to a divorce lawyer or a family law attorney for legal advice.
He saved his strongest moral message for the men in the audience. “There are a lot of fathers out there, but very few daddies,” he said. He told of how much he loved his dad, and how his dad tucked him into bed every night without fail, kissed him on the cheek, and told him that he loved him. Every night. Even when his brother was an adult and home on leave from the military, he still kissed him and told him how much he loved him. Contrary to the movie’s portrayal, Frank never saw his father again after he ran out of the courtroom the day his parents were divorced.
He said that some men think it takes money, cars, prestige, degrees, and all kinds of things like that to be a real man. But he had lived that life, and found it wanting. “To all you guys out there,” he charged, “a real man loves his wife. A real man stays faithful to his wife. And a real man is a daddy to his children.”
Some probably found it preachy, and maybe not what they expected from an ex-con they thought was going to talk about identity theft. But I found it refreshing. He’s right, of course. And in a nation where half of all marriages end in divorce, it doesn’t hurt for everyone to hear that message a little more these days.